Some Kind of Goodbye
by Regina Halliwell
Summary: Fix it fic starting with "The Incredible Sinking Lorelais" in which Jess finds Rory in the midst of her breakdown. Cross-posted to AO3.
1. Some Kind of Goodbye

Rory ran back inside from her car—Stars Hollow was no haven for her tonight, and Lorelai was nowhere to be found. She paused outside her suite door, hearing Paris's dominant voice intermingling with Tanna's quiet one. Sighing, her refuge not so welcoming now, Rory turned back around and headed to her car. The car her grandparents had given her. The thought only made her more upset—it was her failure to live up to her grandparents' expectations that had put her in this position.

Where could she go, where could she go? Rory wanted to get away from Yale, distance herself physically from the source of her anxiety. She had never failed like this before. Never been in this position where she felt helpless. She was trying, really trying. Thought she could do it all.

Rory got in and started driving around, looking for a place, any place that could serve as her escape from the world. Just for a bit, she needed time away.

She wandered aimlessly, getting further from her usual haunts as she went. She wanted to go somewhere that students wouldn't be. Then again, on this Friday night, there were a lot of places students wouldn't be.

Pulling up to a bookstore/coffeeshop she had often seen but not yet visited, Rory parked her car, deciding this place was as good as any, and went inside. She ordered a coffee and then found a quiet corner seat to sit down in. Books lined the walls, old books, new books, used books, all kinds of books. This place was comforting, safe. She could disappear into a book if she needed to be somewhere—someone—else.

Rory pulled a hardcover from the shelf, an old copy of _The Catcher in the Rye_. She looked it over, considering it. For some reason the teenage rebellion seemed enthralling at the moment. Not to mention her unfortunate recent interactions with her very own Holden Caulfield. Making the decision to indulge in angst, maybe to wallow a little bit, Rory sat with the book in her chosen armchair.

Sipping her coffee, Rory read Salinger as she had never read him before. She always responded to challenges by meeting them. She was successful, in control Rory. She never failed. She didn't need to rebel, she wasn't cynical. Her life had always been something she could handle.

Not anymore.

No, now she wasn't good enough. She wasn't able to handle something she should have been able to handle. Her life, for the first time, wasn't turning out to be something she had control over.

Well, not the first time.

Rory didn't let her mind stray, refocusing on the novel. She sipped her coffee, which was dark and strong, though not as strong as Lorelai made it.

Time went on, as Rory continued reading. The bell on the door rang as someone came in—on this Friday night the place was mostly empty, but a few had come and gone while she read. This time, however, it was the last possible person Rory expected to walk in.

His leather jacket zipped up, hair wet from the rain outside, Jess looked exactly the same. The boy who had chased her around the entire town square before professing his love for her had just walked in the door of her new favorite bookstore. In New Haven.

His head was down, he was focused on walking up to the counter. She was sitting in the corner, hidden away a little, and he clearly hadn't seen her. He ordered a coffee and paid for it with some change and a crumpled bill pulled out of his pocket. As he waited for them to fill his cup, he turned away from the counter, fingers running through his hair to shake out the rain. His gaze fell on Rory, looking up at him in astonishment, and he froze, hand still in his hair.

Neither one of them moved for several moments, and then he seemed to break out of the trance. Jess turned to run out the door, his coffee forgotten on the counter behind him.

"Jess, wait!" Rory found herself calling out to him, getting up out of her chair to follow him out the door.

He waited just outside, under the awning of the coffee shop. Rory stopped short, nearly running into him as she saw him in front of her.

"Waiting," he said, looking at her like an animal ready to flee.

"I have something to say to you." She looked away, trying to gather her thoughts, also glad to not have to look him in the eyes.

"I'm listening."

"Several somethings, actually," she prefaced, dissembling. "You told me you loved me."

"Love you, present tense," he corrected.

She paused, looking at him. "Right. So you told me you love me, and at first I was shocked, then angry, then confused."

"And now?" he questioned.

"Now…" she began, "Now I think I finally understand why you left."

"Yeah," he said equivocally.

"Things at Yale aren't great—aren't what I thought. I can't handle the pressure. I can't take as many classes as I should be able to, I think like a high school student, I'm failing a class!"

"I'm sure things aren't that bad."

"They are to me. The point is, I think I get how you felt. When you were failing out of school, when you were trying to work and be in school and be with me. I finally understand why you left."

"Huh."

"Still as reticent as ever, I see."

"I guess."

"Okay, now you're doing that on purpose."

Beneath his cool exterior, Rory thought she spied a smile.

"And there's one more thing," Rory added.

"Oh, yeah?" 

"Yeah." She paused, preparing herself, taking a breath. "I love you too."

He didn't speak, causing an extremely uncomfortable silence.

"So, yeah. I said it. I love you. Oh, wow. Now I'm saying it again. Now I'm babbling because you're not saying anything and I don't know what to do. I'm—" Rory rambled on, trying to fill the silence, until Jess closed the space between them to do the only thing that could effectively stop Rory's rant.

All of a sudden, it didn't matter than they had spent so much time apart; they kissed as though no time had passed at all. Her hand fell to the back of his neck while his slipped around her waist. It felt as comfortable as it ever had.

When the kiss stopped, Jess leaned his forehead against Rory's, his eyes closed as though he thought if he opened them Rory would disappear.

Rory shifted slightly to wrap both her arms around his neck, pulling him into a close hug. Jess accepted the embrace, letting out the breath he was holding in.

"So what now?" she asked, after a moment. Before he could speak, she started again. "No, wait, don't say anything. Don't ruin this."

"Who said I was gonna ruin it?" Jess asked, smiling, the implication clear.

"Right. How about we go back inside, out of the rain, and talk about this like normal people?"

"Who said you could be normal?"

"Ha ha, very funny. Come on," she said, grabbing his hand as though nothing in the world had changed since they were together, and pulled him back inside.

She sat back in her chair, picking up the long forgotten book she had left on the seat. Jess turned around, not sure what to do, then picked up the coffee he had run out on, looking at it in his hands while Rory situated herself.

"Come on, sit down, I won't bite," Rory invited, trying to dissolve the tension.

"Okay," he said unnecessarily as he sat down in the armchair next to hers. "So, now what?" he asked, mirroring her rescinded question.

"I don't really know. I mean, I just said it. I said what I felt and I didn't know how you would respond but I said it anyway."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Rory looked at him and smiled, thinking back to that horrible and wonderful night. She felt so lost then, and she felt lost today, but right now, she just felt happy. She had butterflies in her stomach again—she didn't think Jess would give her butterflies again. Not after the agony he put her through. Yet here she was.

There was a short silence again, and Rory played with the book in her hands.

"Salinger, huh?"

Rory looked down and then around. "Yeah, I just pulled it off the shelf."

He nodded.

"I think I get it more now than I did when I first read it. Teenage angst and all that."

He smirked and said, "I wouldn't know."

That garnered a smile from Rory, which made Jess smile more genuinely.

"So."

"Yeah."

"So, what's going on with Yale? You said something about failing a class? That doesn't sound like the Rory Gilmore I know."

"I haven't failed it yet. But I'm failing. I failed a paper. And my professor told me to drop the class but if I do then I'd only be taking four classes and Gilmores don't take four classes, they take five."

She took a breath to continue, but Jess reached over and took one of her hands in his, _Catcher in the Rye_ forgotten in her lap.

"Rory," he said quietly, "You didn't fail out. This isn't like me, okay? You still have plenty of time to fix this before you have to flee across the country."

She nodded. "I just feel so…helpless. Like everything is out of my control."

Jess stroked her hand, trying to console her. "You're Rory Gilmore. You will figure this out. You always believed in me, so let me do the same."

She bowed her head, embarrassed. "I probably overreacted."

He nodded. "Probably, but that's okay. You Gilmores redefine the word histrionic."

"We do that, yes." She paused. "What have you been up to? Since you—"

"Confessed my undying love for you in the street that one time? Not much. I was in California with Jimmy for a while, then I decided I couldn't mooch off him and his girlfriend for much longer. It was nice, though. I got to see where I got the screwed up parts of me that aren't from Liz, and I got along okay with Sasha—his girlfriend's—kid. After that, I was in New York, stayed with some buddies, and then I heard from Liz about my car. And well, you know the rest."

"Well, I think that might have been the most words you've said at one time."

"Could be."

"Aaand we're back to monosyllabic boy."

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know—I—I want you to tell me you've figured out a way to make this work. Tell me it's all going to be okay."

He sighed. "Rory, I want it to all be okay. I want to be that guy for you that makes everything better. I just don't know how."

"Things were so good… before. They could be good again, couldn't they?"

His hand stilled, and his eyes met hers. "It's worth a try."

"Yeah," she agreed. "It is."


	2. That's The Worst Thing I Could Do

"So, what now?"

"Now we ride off into the sunset, living our happily ever after, of course."

"Ah, what was I thinking?" Rory smiled and twined her fingers lazily through Jess's.

"But in the off chance that we aren't in a fairy tale? I was gonna go with you coming home with me." She gave him a look, immediately regretting the surprise that crossed her face. "Or not," he said. "I'll drop you at your dorm."

"No," Rory agreed, "Let's go to your place. I came here because I didn't want to be in my normal places at Yale, so going back to my dorm isn't exactly ideal. Paris is home and there was a thing with my roommates and it's just really not what I need right now."

"Which is?"

"Some quiet. Someone who believes in me. Maybe some snacks."

"I think we can manage that."

"So, your place? Where exactly is that? How did the elusive Jess Mariano find himself in New Haven? My town. Hey, were you stalking me?" One look at his face told her everything. "That should be creepy."

"But it's not, right? It's on the Ryan Gosling side of the stalker spectrum. I just wanted to see if you were happy. How much I screwed things up."

"And?"

"You seem okay. Perhaps I should be insulted."

Rory smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. "I was pining, believe me. I just hide it really well."

"Well, in that case…" Jess leaned in to kiss her, lingering once the short kiss had finished to look at her closely. "I'm having trouble believing this is actually happening. Maybe we could do that one more time, just to be sure." She smiled and obliged, running her fingers through his hair.

When they separated, Jess looked to the book she had been reading. "Maybe you could leave Salinger for the night, if you're reading to go?"

"I think I can manage. It's not like I'll be bereft of a rebellious teen without him."

"Ha ha. I'm not quite so rebellious anymore."

"I don't know. The leather jacket says a lot…." Rory smiled, fingering the hanging buckle at the bottom of said jacket. Jess shivered, her hand brushing against where the buckle hit the top of his thigh (accidentally?). She drew a breath in sharply, both of them feeling the sexual tension.

"Back to my place now?" he asked, breathless.

She nodded in response, leaning in as he reached a leather-clad arm around her shoulders, and Rory let out a breath of relief.

"Here's some sweats if you want to be more comfortable," he said, grabbing a pair along with a tee shirt off the couch as he moved into the apartment. It was small and not well-furnished, but not as messy as she expected it would be. He turned on a light and then went to the fridge to grab a beer.

"You want one?" he asked, not thinking she would say yes.

"I'm going to change first," Rory qualified, "But sure, that sounds good."

"Rory Gilmore, accepting an alcoholic beverage," he said in shock, "Never thought I'd see the day."

"I guess we've both grown up," she said, moving into the bathroom to change, leaving the door open just a crack.

While she did that, Jess took a long pull from his own beer and then cleaned the kitchen up a bit, grabbing a bag of chips from the pantry and setting them on the coffee table along with their beers.

He flipped through some channels trying to fin something that neither of them would find abhorrent. As the bathroom door creaked open, Rory walked out looking cozy in his sweats. She smiled, then glanced at what was on the screen as he flipped channels.

"Grease!" she exclaimed, and he groaned.

"Aw, come on Rory, you can't be serious." He looked at her beseechingly. She smiled, and he gave in. "Fine. But we're not doing a sing-along."

"Don't worry, I promise to let you mock as much as you want."

"That's the only way to get through this thing. I'm surprised you like it."

"I'm surprised you don't. You don't see the resemblance, Zuko?"

"Please. My hair is way better than his."

"Same jacket, though."

He turned to gasp at her and saw her smiling back at him, then gave up on his protestations. "Okay, Grease it is." They leaned back and she ducked her head into his chest.

A few minutes in, while one of the musical numbers was playing, Rory restrained herself from singing along, instead choosing to look up at Jess. When he didn't think she was looking, he watched with rapt attention, but as soon as he caught her eye, he turned away to take a sip of his beer, then said, "You know, come to think of it, you and Sandra Dee do have a few things in common."

He expected a glare, and she didn't disappoint. She held her beer in hand, pointed at it, and said jokingly, "I don't know. The word 'ass' came out of my mouth last week, and as far as I know, this drink in my hand contains alcohol. So I'm pretty sure we're not exactly the same. I mean, take a look at my grades and the similarities end there…" she murmured, not quite kidding but not really upset.

"Whoa, Rory, you're so bad," he teased. She was still so much more innocent than he was, even as worldly as she was becoming.

She blushed and shoved him slightly. It was almost like old times, but he was more vulnerable and she more imperfect.

"So what can I do to take your mind off of your complete failure?" he asked, joking.

She laughed and responded, "Try saying that again without the suggestiveness."

"Why Rory, I don't know what you're talking about. I only meant…"

"I know what you meant, and it isn't going to work, mister."

"It's not?" he asked, leaning in to kiss her.

Her reply was lost as she returned his kiss, wrapping her hand around the back of his neck to finger his slightly greasy hair that she loved so much. His hand fell to her waist, pulling them closer together—albeit still mostly vertical—on the couch.

She felt her breath catch as his mouth found that spot behind her ear that he remembered made her tremble. She found herself becoming weightless in his arms, as his kisses and touches made her forget her worries.

Jess could barely believe this was happening—after his crazy confession of love the other day, he had half-expected to never see Rory Gilmore again, or at least to never be in such a position again, but here he was, making out with the one girl he had ever loved even after he screwed things up so badly.

When Rory leaned back onto the couch and pulled him slightly on top of her, Jess became concerned. "Whoa, Rory, I'm not trying…that's not why I brought you here."

"I know that. And I'm not saying I'm ready for…that. But I've really missed you." The look in her eyes when she said that made Jess swallow hard. Maybe this wasn't really the same Rory Gilmore he had dated before. She seemed to be more aware of herself, and of him, and the way her hands moved over his body suggested she wanted to go further than they had before.

"You know," she said, "right before you left, before things got all messed up,"—she took a breath—"I told my mom that you and I were close to having sex. She really wasn't happy about it, but I made it clear that you made me feel safe and loved and happy. When you left, I felt like a fool, because clearly I didn't make you feel the same way. But here you are, there for me when I need you." She didn't want to rehash the same arguments as before, but if they were going to move forward, things had to be clear.

Jess looked down, avoiding her gaze, partially out of shame for his abandonment, and partially out of surprise at her candor.

"I want to be there for you," he said, his voice cracking. "I want to be in your life."

"Can you let me be in yours, then?" she asked. "I want to believe that you won't run out again the first time things get hard."

"I'm trying, Rory. I really am. I'm still a mess, but I'm trying to be less screwed up."

"I don't care about that, I like messy Jess," she smiled at her rhyme, and continued, "I just want you to let me help you, I want you to trust me to not judge you or blame you or whatever."

He held her hand in one of his, stroking her palm with his fingers and thinking of what to say, how to assure her that he was in it for the long haul.

"I got my GED," he said. "I wasn't going to do another year of high school, but I'm not an idiot. I know I'm smart and unless I pander to the education system, nobody will ever care. I should have not freaked out and left, I should have thought to do that, and then I could have stayed with Luke, and been at your graduation, and not ruined everything. I mean, I still couldn't have taken you to your prom, but at least I wouldn't have abandoned you."

"Wow, you are talkative tonight," Rory noticed, lightening the mood.

Jess smirked, leaned in and kissed her. "The point is, I was a jerk, and it was more stupid than I'd like to think I actually am."

"I've always said how smart you are. I'm glad you finally believe it." Rory smiled and kissed him softly. "And I promise to trust you more, okay? You deserve more credit than anyone gives you."

"Well then in the interest of honesty, there's something you should know."

Rory perked up and looked at him questioningly. "It doesn't matter, whatever it is. I don't care, I don't need to know."

"Don't worry, it's nothing serious. You know when I showed up with a black eye at your grandmother's house for dinner? It wasn't a football, it wasn't Dean… it was a swan."

Rory started laughing. "See, this is why you should trust me more."

When she didn't stop laughing, Jess, made a face. "What? It's true!"

"Oh, I know it's true. Come on, Jess, I knew you were lying. I mean, football? Since when do you play football? You're hardly a jock. Also Luke told my mom, who told me. So, lying was really unnecessary."

He rolled his eyes. "Of course I forgot about the gossip train. Trust Luke with one secret…"

"Did you really expect him to not tell my mother, who would revel in knowing about your unfortunate mishap?"

Jess muttered something under his breath, but smiled. "So you're not mad?"

"No, I'm not mad. I wish you have told me, but I'm not mad. And the next time you get beaked by that evil swan, maybe you can trust me enough to help you exact your revenge, or at least deal with the black eye?"

"Please, I'm not going anywhere near that swan again."

"Not even to revisit our bridge?" she asked, both of them knowing the significance of that place. It was their place, always would be their place.

"I mean, I wasn't planning on going back to Stars Hollow any time soon, but I guess I could make an exception every once in a while," he said begrudgingly. "Although, my apartment here is a lot less than 22.8 miles from you, so there's that benefit."

Her eyes watered a little, sentimentality taking over. "You remembered."

He nodded. "Of course I did. If you want me to be a little farther away, I can find an apartment elsewhere or even ask Luke to let me move back in. But I'm also pretty happy being only a couple of miles from you, if that doesn't veer to the other end of the stalker spectrum."

"I think stalking only counts if I'm not dating you," she said.

"Yeah?" he said, his eyes saying everything he needed to.

Rory smiled. "Yeah."

They turned to the TV, where Sandy and Danny were driving off in the flying car at the end of _Grease_. "Huh," Rory said. "I forgot how weird the end of this movie is."

"Yeah, but it's not about that, you know. It's about compromising. They both have to be willing to be what the other needs."

"Oh, really? I had no idea," she teased. "Yeah, I guess you're right. It's cheesy, but kind of perfect."

The unspoken words hovered between them in the ensuing silence. Rory smiled and tilted her head, and Jess leaned in and kissed her.


	3. Nothing Good Gets Away

Rory woke up in an unfamiliar bed, blinking the sleep out of her eyes as she took in her surroundings. She had a tee shirt on, her bra slung over a chair in the corner of the room. Her underwear from yesterday was still on, but she had divested herself of Jess's sweatpants at some point during the night.

Jess.

She startled as she sleepily came to the realization that she was not alone in the bed—Jess, her ex?boyfriend Jess, had slept in the same bed as her last night. At his apartment. In New Haven. Oh god, Yale. The reason for her flight from campus came back to her all at once, and she had a moment of panic.

Rory must have shifted abruptly in her distress, because the lump of angsty teenager beside her stirred and turned to face her.

"Hey," he said, greeting her with a bleary look and furrowed brow, like he was taking everything in as well.

"Hi," she returned, suddenly self-conscious that she was in bed with a boy, with no pants and no bra on. She was covered enough, not to mention the coverlet that still hid her and warmed her, but the principle held. She was going to have to talk to Lane about this later. And her mom! Oh, god, her mom.

"I see that look," Jess said. "Right about now, you're either embarrassed, or regretting last night, or confused and scared. I know at least one of those applies to me too, if it's any consolation."

"Which one?" Rory asked, momentarily forgetting her own insecurity.

Jess shifted uncomfortably and the covers inadvertently tented a bit where he moved. Rory immediately understood and blushed, looking away, as he cleared his throat and admitted quietly, "Well it's clearly not regret, that's for sure."

Feeling brave suddenly, Rory reached to embrace him, unconcerned that she could feel his hardness through their clothing as she clung to him. He was wearing boxer shorts and a thin tee shirt, and while she couldn't see his legs under the covers she could feel his hairy, spindly limbs twining with hers. She held him close, kissing the side of his neck with no amorous ambitions, just savoring the intimacy of the act. He could feel her breasts pressing against his chest, unsupported by a bra, but neither of them commented on how much more they were seeing and feeling of each other than they ever had.

Waking up next to Jess was much more pleasant than Rory had thought it might be. She had always wondered whether sleeping with a boy—really sleeping, that is—would be embarrassing for her. Would she snore? drool? god forbid, something worse? That accidental night with Dean where they had fallen asleep at Miss Patty's, they had both been so exhausted that she didn't have the time to be concerned about such things. Last night, with Jess, they had both had a few beers, and the emotional upheaval and general stress of her life the past week or so had made her equally exhausted. She imagined if they woke up in bed and this was his reaction, she must not have done anything too embarrassing.

Smiling as she appreciated their newfound intimacy, Rory pulled back to kiss him properly. "Tell me something I don't know about you," she asked him, hoping to continue their honest communication and move forward together.

"What kind of something?" he asked, unsure of the right course to take. She just tilted her head as if to tell him she didn't care, she just wanted him to talk to her. He had missed that look in her eyes; he felt so much regret for the way things ended between them, and even some of the middle parts too.

"Okay," he agreed, kissing her swiftly as he pressed firmly against her, "but only if you do the same."

She nodded, and he looked around the room in thought for a few long moments.

"I'm writing a novel," he said finally.

Her eyes widened in amazement, shocked and at the same time not at all. Pleased. Proud.

"Jess, that's so… that's incredible."

He shook his head, trying to downplay the whole thing now that he had brought it up. "It's slow going, but I think it might actually be worth finishing."

"You have to! And I want to read it, all of it, and I'm sure it's amazing, and you're going to get published and be a novelist, a real novelist, and—" He kissed her, grasping his hand gently on her neck as he did so, diverting her attention.

Rory groaned as she was distracted in the best way. Jess let the kiss go on a few more seconds, relishing the feel of their bodies stirring against one another. "Your turn," he broke off, pulling away slightly to put one arm around her shoulders, her head resting against his chest, while his other hand casually traced the seam of the tee shirt she had borrowed.

"No fair," she protested, their eyes meeting as her pupils widened with arousal. "How am I supposed to think of anything to tell you when you're doing that?"

"Doing what?" he asked innocently, his eyes twinkling.

Rory harrumphed and tried to focus. "I can't think of anything except things I can't say out loud."

He laughed, a deep laugh that shook her in bed. "I bet I can guess some of that."

Rory continued blushing, but was glad to know that she very clearly wasn't alone in having the thoughts she was having. She cleared her throat and put a lock of hair behind her ear nervously. "Do you mind if I take a shower?" she asked. It wasn't that she wanted to leave this paradise that was being in bed with Jess, but she felt gross and exhausted and a hot shower always made her feel better.

"No problem," he said, seemingly all business though she could practically hear him thinking about her being naked in his shower with just a wall between them.

She nodded and kissed him softly, then extricated herself gently and hesitantly climbed out of the bed. She could feel the wetness in her underwear but hoped it wasn't visible; he didn't have the same luck—she could still see the clear outline of his erection even with him not quite fully on his back. Her shirt (his shirt) did nothing to hide the small curves of her breasts, and she felt self-conscious with the cool air hitting her backside and her bare thighs while he looked at her. She gestured to him with her head, asking, "Will you be okay?"

He laughed unashamedly and looked her right in the eyes as he said, "It's hardly the first time I've gotten turned on by you, Rory. I'm way better than okay."

"But I mean, do you need—" She started but wasn't sure what she was even offering. She didn't feel like she could exactly help him with his issue, or at least she wasn't going to be the one to initiate that.

He smiled generously and confirmed, "I'll be ship-shape by the time you get back, I promise. Go, enjoy your shower." There was a twinkle in his eye as he spoke, but he was sincere.

She nodded, realizing that he hadn't exactly said whether he was going to take care of it himself or see that it went away, and the thought distracted Rory enough that she turned away to enter the restroom, not even realizing she was giving Jess a good show as she did so. She closed the door almost the whole way and immediately turned the hot water on, the sound of the spray giving them both the privacy they desperately needed.

She took her time in the shower, wanting to use it as a way to cleanse all the negative emotions she started the day with yesterday and think only about the present and this possible future that somehow—Rory still couldn't believe it—included Jess.

What she wasn't so excited about was calling her mother; they had both been missing each other all day, but Rory couldn't be upset about that, because not being able to get in touch with Lorelai had accidentally led to her finding Jess again, to them having a wonderful night and morning together, and she couldn't be upset about that, even if the events that transpired yesterday to bring her to that point didn't inspire confidence.

Never had she understood Jess more than right now. He hadn't wanted to disappoint her; he hadn't wanted to reveal himself to be the failure he believed himself—wrongly—to be; he hadn't wanted to shatter any hopes of making her proud, of doing what she wanted, being what she wanted.

But Rory hadn't been the perfect girlfriend either, and those were all bygones. Now, though, she felt the exact same way. She couldn't tell her grandma and grandpa—the reasons that she was at Yale in the first place, the legacy she was supposed to be upholding—that she wasn't cutting it. She wasn't even mediocre; she was _failing!_ She couldn't bear to see the looks on their faces, to know that she had let them down, that they had fewer reasons to be proud of her, that they had wasted their money on tuition she didn't deserve.

And her mom, who had worked so hard and sacrificed things for herself so that Rory could excel, and go to an Ivy League school, and even just be fed and clothed—she couldn't bear to let her mom down either, even though if there was anyone in the world who would love her regardless, it would be Lorelai.

But Jess understood what it was like to be put on a pedestal, to be patronized and expected to do certain things and be certain things. Not in the same ways, of course, but he was intimately aware of what it was like to have another person put their faith and hope and love in you and to let them down. So many people had done it to him, he had done it to Luke and to her, and now she had done it too.

They were better suited for each other than ever, she thought, and not because she wasn't perfect Rory anymore, but because she understood now that she didn't have to be.

The water gradually started to cool and Rory rinsed one last time, shutting it off as she realized how long she had spent in there. What if Jess had to go to the bathroom?! Ugh, now she could add bathroom hog to her quickly growing list of faults.

Pulling a spare towel around her, Rory stumbled out into the bedroom, finding Jess fully dressed and laying back on the bed reading a book, unsurprisingly. He drew his eyes away from the pages to look at her, doing a double take when he processed her state of wet undress. "Did you get all your thinking done, then?" he asked, knowing her too well. "I would ask if you wrote the great American novel while you were in there, but then I figured the hypocrisy would be too obvious."

"I got to think, yes, thank you. Sorry I took so long; I kind of lost track of time."

"And?" he asked, one eyebrow raised in questioning.

"And, I am really sorry for asking too much of you, for making you think you had to be some perfect guy to be worthy of me. I'm not perfect; no one is, and I shouldn't have made you feel like you were anything less than an amazing guy. I know you compared yourself to Dean—everyone did, even me, and that wasn't fair. And just because I have ideas about what my life should be like didn't mean I was right to impose them on you. I think I finally get what all the teen angst last year was about. I'm kind of angsty myself right now," she admitted, but there was a smile behind her eyes.

He shook his head and got up, haphazardly placing the book closed down on the bed. She was sure that he had read it enough times to remember his place, if he didn't have parts of it memorized. That man of hers had a knack for quoting literature at the drop of a hat. He really did read more than anyone else she knew, and it was sad that nobody else appreciated that.

He approached her, wrapping one arm around her towel clad torso, and she readjusted her grip on the folded terrycloth covering her front, placing her other hand on his shoulder. "Rory," he said, as serious as she had ever seen him. When she met his eyes, he continued. "I think we've both done enough apologizing."

She nodded, smiling in acceptance.

"Er, I guess I have one more," he admitted sheepishly, almost not sorry for saying it.

"What?" she asked in alarm, seeing the look on his face.

"I…might have accidentally answered your phone while you were in the shower," he said, looking up at the ceiling.

"Oh my god," she said, "you didn't."

"I really did. Your mom was not too happy to hear me answer the phone…"

"Jess!" she nearly screamed, turning away to make a sound of exasperation. "Well, if you weren't sorry already, you will be soon."

"What is that supposed to mean?" uncertainty crossing his face, though he knew where she was going with this.

"You're going to have to come to Stars Hollow with me; my mother's never going to let me hear the end of this, you answering my cell phone first thing in the morning when I'm supposed to be with Paris in my dorm room at Yale. I'm not going to deal with this alone, buddy. Get ready for Hurricane Lorelai."

He groaned, knowing that this was bound to happen sooner or later, though he had hoped it would be much later, and _definitely_ not under these particular circumstances. But a second chance with Rory? Worth it.


	4. Shiny Happy People

"Hey," she answered the phone, seeing who was on the other line.

"You can't just 'hey' me after this morning, young lady." Lorelai teased, but Rory knew there was real confusion in her voice.

"I know, I owe you an explanation."

"Big time, missy! How long has this… Jess… thing been going on?"

"Just since yesterday! I promise you would have heard by now if it had been longer. I couldn't get ahold of you yesterday, and I was really upset, and I ended up at this bookstore coffee shop place, and Jess was there, and we're sort of—together—now. Again."

"I'm going to put everything you just said on hold for a minute. I was trying to get ahold of you yesterday, too. Man, we really don't have this mother-daughter communication thing down, do we?"

"I thought we were doing pretty well until yesterday's snafu."

"Do people actually use the word 'snafu' or is that one of your swanky Yale words?"

"It's a normal word, I promise."

"I don't know who to believe anymore. Now, what's all this about Jess? What were you so upset about yesterday?"

"It doesn't matter anymore. He helped put things in perspective, and I'm not so freaked out now. What about you? What were you trying to talk to me about?"

"It's taken care of. Let's just say we're going to have to actually pay at Luke's for the next millennium to make up for how much he's helping me out."

"He lent you money?"

"No. Yes."

"Well then it doesn't really matter whether we pay him or not, mom, it's his money we'd be giving him."

"Damn you and your Ivy League smarts."

"Mom?"

"Yeah, hon?"

"I'm really happy."

"I can tell, kid. Your beau sounded pretty happy too, once the terror left his voice. I wanna hear all about it."

"I want to tell you all about it. Can we meet for lunch? Maybe somewhere not Stars Hollow or New Haven?"

"Avoidance, huh. I get it. Well, I was actually going to head to the mall today, if you want to go to Manchester or Farmington or something."

"Ooh, Buckland Hills! Let's be fancy. They have all the food options there, too."

"I can't promise we'll buy much."

"That's alright. Window shopping and chain food it is!"

"So, tell me everything. Well, not everything. I don't know if I want to know 'everything.' Just tell me, are you still a virgin?"

"Mom!"

"Well?"

"Nothing happened. Nothing like that."

"Drat. You're almost done with your freshman year of college. Miss Patty's going to be disappointed."

"Mom!"

"Sorry, continue." 

"We didn't. But, I think… we might. Soon."

"Oh boy, déjà vu."

"Mom, I promise this time Jess and Dean won't end up in a fight that destroys someone's home."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm still needing more details, here, hon."

"You keep interrupting me!"

"Just talk."

"Fine," Rory said with a sigh, and explained everything. She must have started to get that glazed look in her eyes because Lorelai's expression changed from concerned to amused to content.

"You look happy," Lorelai commented. "It doesn't mean I approve. I don't think this is necessarily the best idea. They guy did abandon you without so much as a 'goodbye' and then not contact you for almost a year. And really, even before that, things weren't so great."

"I think… I love him, mom."

"Whoa. Zero to sixty in ten seconds flat."

"I do. I don't think I ever stopped. I mean, that's where things were going before he up and left, and I told him as much when he called me at my graduation, and he loves me, too, mom. I think he's grown up a lot since then."

"What, so toddler to teenager?"

"Mom."

"Okay, fine. You're right. Adult Jess could potentially be slightly more mature than high school Jess. By a hair."

"By more than that. He got his GED, he's writing a novel, he's doing all the things I knew he was capable of. I'm proud of him."

"You should be. I'm sure you're the reason he's doing those things. He always did try to be good enough for you."

"Well it didn't help that I had the whole town looking out for me to make sure he was living up to that."

"You didn't ask for that. He knows that. I'm sure I didn't help. Or your grandmother. God knows she can send boyfriends running out the door with just a look."

"Oh god, grandma! How was dinner?"

"Oh, kid, I don't wanna talk about that. Grams was not so kind to me last night. I almost wished for Emily Gilmore's death glare in that moment."

"She's not that bad."

"You didn't grow up in that house, Rory. You don't know how lucky you are."

"Yeah, I do."

"You're just trying to butter me up so I won't harass your boyfriend."

"You see right through me."

"Well I did raise you right," Lorelai admitted smugly, and then turned to look at their food options. "What are you in the mood for? There's always the food court, or we could get Sonic if you want to hate yourself even more. Or we could go fancy and do a sit down lunch like normal people?"

"I don't care. I'm just thankful you're going to give Jess a chance."

"Who said that? I plan to torture him. I may even get Babette involved."

"So how screwed am I?" he asked, smiling impishly. Jess had come over to Rory's dorm this time, since Paris was at Asher's. She didn't usually come home on the nights she spent with him. It wigged Rory out, but if it meant she got a night alone here and there, she would take it.

"Not much. Well, I don't know. I'm hoping that Luke and me will be able to put in good words on your behalf."

"And she'll listen?" 

"Well, Luke did just lend my mom quite a large sum of money, so I'm betting she'll do whatever he wants."

"Plus he's in love with her."

"That, too. I'm pretty sure she's the only one who doesn't see it."

"My family doesn't seem to have great luck in that department," Jess commented wryly, thinking of his mother, father, and her latest boyfriend. Who knew if this one would stick?

"I don't know," Rory teased. "I would say you've gotten pretty lucky. Or you will soon."

He raised an eyebrow. "Rory Gilmore, was that a sexual innuendo?" he asked, mock-bewildered.

"That's me, college girl. Making with the drinking and the swearing and the sex."

Jess laughed, and she blushed.

"Okay, well, maybe not that last part yet. But I'm thinking that could change in the near future." She hesitated to meet his eyes as she said it, but he just smiled and leaned in to kiss her.

"You never know these days," he said. "People 'hooking up' and 'hanging out.' Who knows what that even means."

"Careful, Jess, you're starting to sound like a certain grumpy diner owner I know."

He pulled her to him and leaned them down on her twin mattress. "Rory, please don't bring up my uncle if we're anywhere near a soft surface or I have my hands anywhere besides your hands."

"What, still reeling from all his rules?"

"Let's just say I still jump when I hear a door open, even if what I'm doing is completely innocent."

"I'm sure," she said, smiling. "Same here, you know. That time my mom caught us made me paranoid for weeks. I don't think I ever told you, but she almost caught me once," Rory paused and blushed, searching for the word she wanted and then gave up, hoping he would know what she meant. "In my room."

"When?" he asked, grinning deviously as he ran his hand down her side, making her skin tingle with his touch.

"After the Distillers concert," she said, and he understood.

That night, she had been mad at him, and he had felt guilty about everything, and then had seen this great concert. And she felt weird and confused about finding out Dean and Lindsay were dating, and then Jess touched her and it made her think back to her conversation with Lorelai.

They had gotten her a gynecologist appointment the week after she had admitted she was thinking about having sex with Jess. She got on the pill, and the idea of sleeping with Jess suddenly became very real, and very scary. After the Distillers concert, they had made out in his car for almost an hour, well away from her house or the diner or anywhere someone could barge in on them.

She remembered the way the leather seats felt under her skin, how he had ground into her, their hands groping everywhere. She was drunk on lust, and he was more than willing to go along with it.

Then, realizing what was happening, Rory pulled away, embarrassed. She hadn't ever really had the opportunity to have sex, but now, she could. No one would stop her. She was protected from the scourge of teen pregnancy that had befallen her mother. She felt so much for Jess, all these new special feelings swirling around inside of her. It was too much, and she didn't know how to deal with it or what he was feeling. She had told him to keep thinking what he was thinking and now she didn't know how to… how to anything. Was she ready for this? She had told her mother she might be, but was she really.

Rory had ended the evening on an awkward note, both of them feeling hot and bothered and parting unsatisfied. She had started the night so angry at him and ended it feeling like she didn't ever want to let him go.

When he had dropped her off, she had gone home still feeling that itch, and had ended up lying to Lorelai about where she had been, before she ended up in bed, touching herself under the covers, edging towards some unattainable ecstacy. She had waited until her mother finished the Chinese take-out, but still felt edgy and breathless from their make-out session.

"I remember that night," he croaked, pulling her out of her reverie.

"I was so mad at you for standing me up," she said.

"I never did listen to that message."

"It's for the best," Rory admitted, remembering her ire.

"Well, I wouldn't have minded getting yelled at if it still meant we got to have the rest of that night."

"It was a great concert," Rory commented.

"Wasn't talking about the concert," he said, and she nodded.

"Well, we have kind of picked up where we left off, you know," Rory offered, calling to mind the previous night, and that morning.

"Is that a hint, Gilmore?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I wouldn't throw you out of bed," she admitted, smiling and pulling him more on top of her.

"Stop talking," he advised, covering her mouth with his.

"I can't say I'm surprised," Paris commented, waking them up. "And I suppose I'm glad you didn't sink to sleeping with some dumb freshman you can talk circles around. At least this one's well read."

Rory and Jess looked up at Paris, both glaring at her intrusion.

"It's my room too, you know," she commented, and Rory glared.

"I don't think you have any room to judge at this point. You're sleeping with a professor."

"Well we both know I have better taste. Although I guess Kerouac here isn't the worst option for you."

"Thank you for your opinion on my love life, Paris. Now would you leave us alone?"

"As you were," she said. "I'm just here to change and grab a book I told Asher he could borrow."

"Great," Rory said, as Paris walked back out the door with an outfit and a book she had grabbed.

"So," Jess began, rubbing his eyes and pushing his hair out of his face. "Paris is still nuts, I see."

"Worse," Rory concluded. "But I suppose that's one down, everyone else in my life to go."

"I don't mind the inquisitions, but I would really rather be fully dressed and not—" he looked down at their strewn about clothing, rumpled sheets, and entwined limbs, "indisposed, when people you care about see me again."

Climbing out of bed, Rory put her jeans back on and found the bra she had tossed aside. She found Jess's pants and tossed them to him as well, smiling as her sat on the edge of her bed and pulled them on.

"As good as the Distillers night?" he asked her, coming over to kiss her 'good morning.'

"Better," she said, "since my mother is nowhere to be found."

"Speaking of your mother, when should I expect Hurricane Lorelai?"

She grimaced. "That's up to you. I was thinking of going back to Stars Hollow soon to see Lane's new apartment—she got her own place with Zach and Brian. You could tag along. I usually have to schedule visits with my mom now, but I bet a surprise visit would make her be nicer than a scheduled one. Or, you could always come to Friday night dinner next week. I really want my grandpa to meet you at some point."

"Ha. That's not going to happen anytime soon."

"You know, I somehow knew you were going to say that." 

"Can you blame me?"

"No, not after the swan debacle. But you and my grandpa would really get along. Maybe sometime when my grandma can't be there."

"Maybe."

"So, Lane's it is?"

"It's certainly the lesser of the evils."

"You don't mind Lane, right?"

"No, she's fine. The band's cool. Although I'm sure I'm not Lane's favorite person after what I did last year."

"Jess," she started.

"I'm not apologizing again, I'm just saying I don't know how happy she'll be to see me."

"She's my best friend. If I'm happy, she'll be happy."

"And you're happy?" he asked, unsure.

She kissed him in answer.


	5. Only the Mad Are Sane

"How did I let you talk me into this, again?" Jess asked, rolling his eyes.

Rory paused mid-gait and turned in front of him. She dropped his hand that she had been holding and placed one hand gently on his chest, the other coming up to hold his shoulder. She leaned in close and whispered, "Like this." Meeting his mouth with hers, Rory took the initiative.

She had always been the receiver of such attentions in the past, not the instigator. Jess and Rory 2.0 was different. Rory delved her tongue into his mouth, groaning as he deepened their kiss. His hand had reached around to grip her waist, holding the two of them close enough together they were touching from head to toe.

Rory pulled away, only to tilt her head and kiss his neck briefly. "Right," he said, "Now I remember."

Rory laughed as she buried her face in his shoulder, pulling away with a smile. "Hey! I was doing some of my best work there," she said. She knew he would recall his own words last year in such a similar situation, and if his eyebrow raise and grin told her anything, she was right.

"So, what should I expect anyway? Is Lane going to rip me a new one?" he asked, taking her hand as they continued walking toward Lane's apartment.

"Hardly," Rory reassured him. "I was up with Lane all night last night talking about you, and she didn't once say anything bad. I'm sure she will be similarly enthusiastic today. More so if you bring up a band she hasn't heard of. It will distract and intrigue her."

"Aw, geez, I didn't know I had to intrigue her."

"Just offer suggestions on how to set up their apartment, then. Lane's a bit freaked about not having things like towels and a fridge."

"That I can do. If there's one thing I'm great at, it's figuring out how to live well above my means."

"My hero," she teased.

"Hey, you saw my apartment. Did that look like something that I could afford?"

"No," she responded, thinking back to the partially stocked fridge, actual furniture—he even had a bed frame. "How _did _you afford all that?"

"I've been working a lot, different Walmart than before, but at least I know the gig. And I have some money from Luke, and from Jimmy. I guess the guy felt guilty enough that he sent me away with a little cash in my pocket. Not guilty enough to be an actual father, but I'll take it."

"I hate that you're working at Walmart," she told Jess, looking at their linked fingers.

"I know, I know, they're the biggest welfare queen in America, they pay their workers shit, all that stuff."

"No. I mean, yes, all that. But I know you could do something you actually care about."

"I've been looking into it. Walmart was just the easy option because they're everywhere. I could work at one in Venice Beach, Stars Hollow, New Haven, wherever."

"I just want you to be able to do something you love."

"I love _you_," he said, smirking. "Does that mean I get to do—"

"Stop right there, Mariano. You know what I mean." Rory was serious, but smiling. Then, taking his words for what she knew he actually felt, she sighed happily. "I'm not going to get over you saying that anytime soon." After a beat, she leaned over and kissed him. Right in the middle of the road. It wasn't like before, when she had tried to hide their relationship. No public displays of affection because they might hurt Dean…

Dean. He was standing right there, on the sidewalk not ten feet from them.

It was like a standoff from an old Western movie. Dean was stopped in his tracks, facing them, and Rory and Jess, hands together, faced off against him from a little further down the sidewalk.

No one spoke for what felt like minutes.

Jess could feel Rory's hand tightening around his own. He was sure it meant she was anxious, or wanted him to behave, or probably both.

Rory broke the tension first, greeting Dean innocently enough. "Hey, Dean. Off work for the day?"

Dean looked warily between her and Jess, noticing immediately the ease with which they held hands and the closeness of their bodies. He was clearly not up to date on news of Rory's love life, and after their conversation the other day about things not getting awkward, things were certainly becoming awkward.

"Yeah, just headed home for dinner. Lindsay made burgers." He seemed unhappy, just from the tone of his voice. Rory had seen him working at the Dragonfly, getting everything ready for the imminent opening.

"Tell her I said 'hi,'" Rory offered, "And I hope things are good with Tom and everybody. My mom seems to think the work is going well."

It was a clear dismissal. Rory knew Jess wouldn't keep silent for much longer and she wanted to get them both out of there before anyone drew blood. Rory ducked her head and waved a half-hearted goodbye as she led Jess around Dean and past his retreating figure, keeping herself in between the two boys at all times in case one of them lashed out.

"So, that just happened," Jess commented.

Rory tucked a hair behind her ear, looking on at Jess with admiration. "That was remarkable restraint. Why the sudden reticence?"

"Well, I figure, what do I have to be snarky about? Poor guy clearly wants you, doesn't have you, has to watch me be with you. I know a little something about that."

"First of all, I'm not a thing to be had. Second, you weren't so understanding when we got together and you wanted to throw our relationship in Dean's face all the time. Third… I don't actually have a third. Wait, yes I do. Third, Dean doesn't want me back. He just got married to Lindsay. He has a loving wife who makes him dinner; he's on a family plan for goodness sake."

"Rory?"

"What?"

"I think I'd recognize the signs. After all, I was pining for you for almost a year."

She scoffed. "You didn't pine. You flirted, and teased, and taunted, but you didn't pine."

"Even so," he reiterated, "I know the look. He's not so happily married, and I wouldn't be surprised if he wanted you back. After all, I did."

"When did you get so grown-up?" Rory wondered. "Here I thought I was dating this next-generation Beat, this angsty misanthropic literati, but now there's you, all mature and responsible."

"Yeah, I'm a regular Mary Poppins."

"Come along, then, we've got a runaway Korean to visit," she said, rolling her eyes as she led him along.

* * *

Later that evening, Lorelai had the sudden shock of walking into her home to find Rory and Jess sitting together on the couch, sharing a bowl of popcorn as they watched an episode of _The O.C._, mocking it horribly.

She had walked in to Rory's laughter as Jess commented that one of the characters looked strangely similar to Dave Rygalski, whom Lane had very briefly dated last year. "He was a cool guy," Jess commented.

And then they realized Lorelai was there.

Rory hopped up from the couch, leaving the popcorn in Jess's lap, and ran to hug her mom. "Hey!" she greeted. "Jess came with me to visit Lane. She's all moved in to her new place, minus a lot of necessary household goods."

"That's… great, hon." Lorelai tried to sound convincing. She nodded to Jess and smiled thinly in greeting, heading to the kitchen to fix herself some coffee.

Rory and Jess shared a glance between them, and Rory tried to reassure him with her eyes and a smile that everything was going to be alright. She really hoped her mother would actually give Jess a chance this time around.

"So, Lane was good, huh?" Lorelai asked Rory, putting out mugs of fresh coffee for all of them and sitting down at the table.

"She has the bedroom all to herself. Zack and Brian are sharing a bunk bed in the living room," Jess commented. "It's not a bad set up, for her at least."

Lorelai focused, then, on Jess. "And how are things with you? Rory says your apartment isn't half bad, either. You find a decent place in New Haven that doesn't get broken into every week?"

"My door has three separate locks, and I don't have too much that's worth anything, so that helps."

"Great," Lorelai agreed. "Three locks. I'll be sure to tell your grandmother that the next time she calls."

Rory furrowed her brows. "Mom. What are you talking about?"

"My mother called this afternoon, and like a dummy I let slip that you two were seeing each other again. And that led to a lot of comments about black eyes and punctuality, and then of course we got back on the subject of my own teenage indiscretions, and I really should learn to not answer the phone when she calls." Lorelai let out a sigh as she finished her tale.

Jess grimaced and looked down at the table, not happy with those memories.

Rory shook her head, exasperated. "That whole night was one big mess. Grandma doesn't even know Jess. And she certainly doesn't know him now! What did you say?" she asked, reaching over to Jess and clasping their hands together on his thigh.

"I said that just because they were paying for Yale didn't mean they got to dictate your life. If they did, you'd be engaged to a young socialite already. Besides, I don't think it's really about you, kid. Jess just got the brunt of her anger because he makes for a good scapegoat," Lorelai admitted, looking over at her daughter's again-boyfriend. "I think she's just on the outs with my dad right now and was looking for someone to take it out on."

"That's me," Jess joked darkly, "Four out of five moms agree, I'm a good punching bag."

Rory squeezed his hand as she recognized the meaning behind his self-deprecation.

"Thanks for standing up for me," Rory said, "For us. I know you're worried about things but I appreciate you not letting grandma walk all over him."

"No problem, hon. You two deserve a chance to make things work before my mother destroys any desire Jess has to get anywhere near a Gilmore again."

"Not likely," he commented, his snarky self returning. Rory blushed at his implication, and Lorelai buried herself in a big swig of rapidly cooling coffee.

"You two staying here tonight?" she asked, trying to be the cool mom who didn't care if her daughter had a boy spend the night. She trusted Rory to tell her if anything was happening, and she didn't really think that they would have sex under her roof with Lorelai in bed just upstairs.

"We were going to head back to New Haven, but Luke asked Jess if he could help with the diner in the morning, so, yeah, if that's okay."

Lorelai held in the sigh she felt coming on when her dread turned to reality. "Okay, hun. You brought homework with you?"

"And laundry!" Rory replied, smiling.

"It almost sounds like it wasn't me you were coming home to see," Lorelai deduced, checking off the laundry, Luke, and Lane in her head.

"Hardly," Rory said. "You're the reason we came. It just seemed like a good chance to meet up with Lane and see her new apartment, and you know I hate using the dorm laundry machines. Luke asking Jess to help with the diner was purely coincidence."

"Sure it was."

"Yeah," Jess corroborated, "I think he said something about meeting with a lawyer. Things aren't looking so good on the Nicole front."

Lorelai thought about this in conjunction with what Luke had said to her the other day at the diner about the money he was loaning her. He'd told her Nicole wasn't part of it, that Lorelai wouldn't see her. Lorelai nodded, not sure what to say in response to this news.

"So, movie?" she asked instead. "Or do you two want to run away and have secret talks about books while you make eyes at each other?"

Jess rolled his eyes and Rory laughed.

"Movie," Rory agreed firmly. "Anything good on tv, or should we find a classic from our collection?"

"Well," Lorelai began, a twinkle in her eyes, "Since you asked… I happened to have stopped by our very own Stars Hollow Video store on the way home, and picked up a remake of the classic _Freaky Friday_ to watch with my darling daughter."

Jess groaned.

"Uh, mom, anything more in line with what Jess might enjoy?"

"What?! He likes you, you like the movie, hence, he'll like the movie."

"That's some sophisticated logic right there," he cracked, and Lorelai pouted.

"Fine, I also got Kirk to rent me _School of Rock_ before it's actually released. They got the tapes in this week but they're not supposed to rent them until March. I'm masterful, I know."

"I didn't see that one," Jess said, but then asked, "Another musical?"

"Oh, you'll love it," Rory assured him. "Jack Black teaching kids how to be rock stars. It's cheesy and funny, but there's some pretty good music in it. Lots of classic rock."

"I trust you," he agreed, leaning in to give her a kiss on the cheek. "Plus," he whispered, "It can't get any worse than _Grease_."

Lorelai eyed the two, seeing how happy Rory was and how different Jess seemed with her. Could this actually be a good thing?

Agreed on the film, Lorelai set out to get more popcorn and snacks for the three of them, and when she came back, Jess was sitting at the end of the couch with Rory cuddled up next to him in the center, her head resting gently on his shoulder, his arm chastely around her waist.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.


	6. Interlude: A Damned Good Time Together

An interlude to this series entitled "A Damned Good Time Together," which is too explicit for this site, has been posted under the same pseudonym on AO3, if you would like to read it.


	7. Soul Meets Body

Rory felt somewhat embarrassed when she woke up the next morning, reaching for the spot where Jess had been. The memory of their sordid evening together sent her heartbeat hammering faster and made a blush rise on her cheeks and chest.

She savored the quiet moment in bed remember the bliss of his fingers all over her, inside her, and the feel of him in her hands. They explored many firsts together last night. That it had all taken place in her childhood bedroom made it more precarious but also more special.

She had dreamed about what might happen with Jess in her room after all those times when he snuck in and out through her window, just as she had imagined what trysts might occur in the apartment above Luke's diner, on his bed, on the couch… they had made great strides in their physical relationship there too.

Rory hoped it was still early enough that she might not run into her mother that morning, but when Rory came out to the kitchen, clad in her pajamas and with rampant bedhead, Lorelai was right there waiting for her, a mug of coffee poured and a strawberry frosted pop tart still warm on a plate at the table.

Rory cringed inwardly as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, sighing as she wondered how loud they might have been last night if this was the welcome that awaited her.

"Morning, mom," Rory greeted as Lorelai looked up from her mug of coffee.

"Not so fast, child of mine."

Rory gulped as she sat down, fearing the worst.

"What was with the surprise Jess visit, huh? I'm totally willing to give the kid a chance, but you need to butter me up first so I can be nice to your beau. Not spring him on me in the middle of the evening!"

"I thought your manners might take over if it was a surprise, though. And I was right! You were on your best behavior!"

"Yeah, well, I promised you I would try."

"And Jess was pretty well-behaved too, you have to admit."

"Yes, but I don't know how well he kept his hands to himself after I went upstairs…"

"Mom!"

"Hmm, not that well, then."

Rory's blush deepened and gave her away. She stared down at the pop tart and hoped the world would suck her into a black hole.

"Any juicy details?"

When Rory glared at her mother, Lorelai laughed instead of sharing the distress she felt inside. Jess might be a little bit more grown up and a lot in love with Rory, but that didn't mean she wanted them falling into bed together.

"Mom, no."

"Fine, but you did promise to tell me if—"

"Nothing happened, mom."

Lorelai raised an eyebrow at Rory, knowing that wasn't the whole truth.

"Okay, nothing like that happened. We still haven't—you know—yet."

"Hun, if you're going to do it, you should probably be able to say it. And you're still on the pill, right?"

"Yes," Rory answered through the curtain of hair she was desperately trying to hide behind.

"Rory, it's fine. You're nineteen years old, you're a mature, responsible adult, and you should be able to have sex with your boyfriend if you feel ready."

"Wow, you almost didn't look panicked as you said that."

"I'm trying here, kid. No mom wants her little girl to grow up too fast. I can see that you love him, and that he loves you. I just don't want you to get hurt."

"There are worse ways to lose your virginity, mom."

"I know that, I know, I just want you to be sure."

"I will be." 

"And to not be anywhere near my house when it happens."

"I promise. No hanky panky in the house."

"Good. And, not at Luke's either. I have to go in that apartment sometimes, and I don't want to be thinking, 'Is that where Jess defiled my daughter?' every time I do."

"Fair enough, although don't you already think that after last year?"

"I don't need any more images of the two of you horizontal in my mind, thank you. One was plenty."

"So you don't want to hear about last night then, right?"

"Right. Well, maybe leave out all the details. Just tell me, you're happy, right?"

Rory nodded and smiled.

"And Jess is making you happy? Like, emotionally, and physically, and all that?"

Looking away, Rory nodded more emphatically.

"Okay," Lorelai said, an air of grudging acceptance about her. "Then that's all that matters."

Rory strode into the diner, cheery and glad to see Jess behind the counter.

"Hey Caesar! Still need that order of French toast and sausage," he shouted. From the kitchen, Caesar responded with a "Sure thing, boss!"

When Jess saw her, a smile crossed his face and he pulled a giant mug from behind the counter to set down in front of her.

"How'd you sleep?" he asked, seeing her blush at a memory of the night the two of them had shared.

"Pretty well," she admitted with a grin. "But then, someone really tired me out."

"Huh," he said. "Interesting. Who might that have been?" 

Rory's blush was all the response he got, and then she leaned up over the counter to offer him a good morning kiss.

"I'm sorry you didn't get very much sleep. I know you don't like having to get up this early."

"I wouldn't trade last night for anything, especially not just a great night's sleep."

"Good to know," she said.

"So, how bad was it this morning, with Lorelai?"

"I don't think she actually heard anything," Rory explained, "But there was certainly a talk."

"Geez, you really are going to tell her everything as it happens, aren't you?"

"Is that okay? I mean, I don't think I'll tell her _everything_. I certainly didn't share any details about last night, but I will probably tell her when… when stuff happens."

"It's fine. I've just never really had that type of relationship with a parental figure."

"I'm trying to imagine you and Luke having 'the talk' now, and it's just really funny."

"Yeah, well, I guess no relationship is quite like yours and Lorelai's, so there's probably no getting around it."

"Don't worry, she's not going to embarrass us in public or tease you or anything."

"God, I hadn't even thought of that."

"Well, good. She'll probably only make really uncomfortable jokes, like she does with every other subject in our lives."

"Oh, good. Just that."

Rory wanted to change the subject—it was a little odd talking about this when there was a diner full of people who just loved to know every little detail about her life (especially her love life)—so she said, "Have you heard from Luke? His appointment going okay?"

"Yeah, he said he got there fine. I can't imagine how much this must be costing him."

"Yikes. Okay, no spontaneous marriages, got it."

"Nope." He popped the 'p' to enunciate it overdramatically. "Don't want to end up like good old Luke here. I mean, would you?"

"Definitely not. But then, my mom and dad were never married, and I'm too young to have ever even gotten close. So I doubt a shotgun wedding is anywhere in my near future."

"It better not be, cause I'm not really the marrying kind."

Rory's smile faded a bit at that admission. "Yeah, that's what I figured."

"I didn't mean," he started, seeing her face fall. "I meant that's not really how I've ever thought of myself. I didn't have the most stable parental upbringing, either. No good models of marriage to take after."

Rory nodded. "But you don't think you'll ever…" she trailed off.

"I don't know, Rory. I think for the right girl I'd do just about anything, but it's kind of soon to talk about that, isn't it?"

"Oh, I wasn't… I'm not doodling 'Rory Mariano' on my notebooks or anything, I just…" Rory took a deep breath. "Let's start over."

Jess nodded his assent, wiping down the counter next to her to avoid her gaze.

"I don't want to make bad relationship choices, whether they be about marriage, or babies, or whatever else. I want to be with you, right now, and for the foreseeable future, and I hope you do too. That's all I want or expect."

Jess's shoulders relaxed and he smiled. "How romantic," he joked. "When you propose, you better have some prettier words for me, Gilmore."

That got a laugh out of her, and Rory grabbed his hand. "I didn't mean to scare you, Jess. I love you and I know you love me, and that's all I care about."

"Good, cause I feel the same way. I'm not going to run out on you, Rory."

"I know. I'm not worried about that."

"Ah, so you're worried the magic will be gone soon."

"Yup, that's it, you got me. I am terrified, because after our one passionate night together I now find you repulsive."

"That's what I figured. Oh, well," he said, flourishing his order pad in one hand with a liveliness Rory hadn't seen from him in a while.

He came around the counter and wrapped his arm around her waist, kissing her soundly in the middle of the diner. Miss Patty, who had been watching them from the corner table, whistled loudly and winked.

"Well, if the entire town didn't already know we're back together from the whole walking hand-in-hand through the town square thing, they do now." Rory pulled back only slightly.

"Gotta love that Miss Patty," he said, rolling his eyes, and kissed her once again, briefly, before walking towards a two-top that had just seated themselves.

He took their order while Rory sat at the counter drinking her coffee, pulling out a book for school she had brought with her.

Fifty-two pages, three cups of coffee, and too many kisses to count later, Rory and Jess were settling back into their old Stars Hollow rhythms. It was like he had never left, like she was still a Chilton student visiting her boyfriend at his job.

As Jess came back behind the counter, the phone started to ring. He ambled over, assuming it would be Luke. "Luke's," he answered with his usual disaffected manner.

Jess's brow furrowed and he turned toward the kitchen, away from Rory. She heard only snippets of the conversation. "Sorry…you want me to tell her?...coming to get her?...Luke til 1...yeah, together…okay, bye."

"What was that about?" 

"It was your mom."

"Is everything okay? What happened? It sounded serious."

"Rory," he started. "She got a call this morning…geez I'm no good at this…your great grandma died last night. Your mom sounded pretty upset, and she's on her way to Hartford to… I don't know, help, I guess."

"Gran died?" Rory asked in disbelief.

Jess shrugged and nodded, not sure how to help. "You guys close?" he asked.

"Not really. I feel bad for my grandpa, though. God, she was just—last week—and now she's…"

Jess scuffed his foot against the floor, not sure what to say or do. Grief wasn't his strong suit. Really, publicly expressed strong emotions of any kind weren't his strong suit. He put the order pad down and went over to hug her. He tentatively put his arms around her and held her as she burrowed her face in his shoulder. She wasn't really crying, more like she was in shock.

"I can call Luke, get him back here. I'll drive you to Hartford," he offered.

"No," she protested. "I'll go get our stuff and take a bus. Maybe you could just pick me up later so we can head back to New Haven together. If you don't mind, I mean. You don't even have to come in, just wait in the driveway."

"Rory," he started.

"Or I can take the car and come back and get you later, since we don't know when Luke will be done. Or maybe Caesar could cover…no." He could see her mind contemplating all the possibilities.

"Rory," he tried again.

"I should go get my stuff. Oh, God, my gran was dying and we were…"

"Rory!" he got her attention this time. "However you want is what we'll do. Don't worry about me. I'll figure it out if you want to take the car. I can get back on my own."

"No, no. I probably shouldn't be driving right now anyway. I'll take the bus, you pack our stuff and come get me whenever Luke gets back and you can escape. I promise, you don't have to see or talk to anyone. My grandparents probably wouldn't notice even if you did come in, though, they'll be so busy with the arrangements."

"It's fine, Rory. I'll get your stuff and bring it with me. Luke should be back around one, so I'll be over some time after that. Seriously, stop worrying about me. Are you sure you want to take the bus?"

She was distracted, now, thinking of too many things to really be listening to him.

"Thanks," she said, barely looking at him and offering him a short kiss before grabbing her books and running out the door, the bell dinging as it closed.


End file.
